Thursday, September 6, 2012

Continual friends :)

                  Consistent:Marked by harmony,regularity or steady continuity
                  Continual: continuing indefinitely in time without interruption

            "I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light"      
                                                             ~Helen Keller~

I am so in awe of how truly blessed my life has been. That is not to say that I have not had horrifically painful moments or times that I wasn't sure I even wanted things to continue. But I am finally at a point in my life where I can see some things for their purpose and that's a beautiful place to be.

I have always known that it is important for me, and I believe most women, to have a group of friends that know her. The kind of women who rally around her when she needs them the most. A friend that when you ask, "do you have any chap stick?"  will dig into her overfilled purse, hand you a chap stick that is covered in whatever nastiness is floating around in the depths of it, and not be embarrassed for you to use it. And you use it.

I think everyone needs,  Consistent friends and Continual friends. Today my Continual friends are on my heart and I want to talk about them, and since this is my blog, that is what I am going to do! :) Now it should be mentioned that, like everything in life, people do not fit neatly into perfectly wrapped little boxes. My girlfriends are all wise women(even if we aren't sure of that yet)  and have bold, beautiful personalities so they often float back and forth between the two group.. why? Because the can!

                                 Continual: Continuing indefinitely in time without interruption

I recently had the privilege of spending the evening with a group of ladies that I have known all of my adult life. We all lived together during our college years and have been a part of each other's lives in some way ever since. Some are more involved than others, some have pulled away at different times, some are rarely seen, but if you would ask, we would all say, "She's a good friend of mine."

 I sat in the room looking around at each of them as the sound of our laughter took over the Establishment. We laughed at ourselves, at each other, at everyone that had had the daunting task of dealing with us over the years.

 When together, we love to talk about old boyfriends (because they were all 'boyfriends')  and why they were fools to leave us. We rehash old arguments, still clinging to the opinions we had 20 years ago. We point a finger and yell "Remember when you.." and laugh hysterically as the center of attention shakes her head, still embarrassed even after all these years.

As I sit here now thinking about these women I struggle to find the right words. My struggle does not come from the lack of being able to find words to explain my dear friends but from the lack of finding words worthy of the importance of these women in my life.

As young women we dreamed together of what our lives would be. We tried to find ourselves in a world of chaos that was our own doing, while being each other's steady. We helped through drunken nights and tear filled mornings. We pondered life's most confusing questions like "should we go to work today or call in sick?" We defended each other viciously and fought amongst each other over hair-spray and boys. "DIBS....DIBS... and don't even think about him, he's mine."

 Decisions were made in the moment, not thinking of the  consequences,  then excuses made by all of us afterwards. We could justify any action for each other, at anytime, for any situation. I never claimed it was healthy, it was what it was. A bunch of girls that loved each other, knew nothing of the world, but marched on anyway.. together.

Life has a way of changing things and change it did.

                           Continual: Continuing indefinitely in time without interruption   

We have been present at births and handed each other tissues as we tried to find reason in death. We have danced at weddings and helped through the struggle of divorce. We have seen each other at our best and helped pull each other out of the gutter at our worst. These women know my deepest secrets, my biggest sins and have seen my in my darkest moments.. but still they love me.. and I them.

It was not until that night that I realized what a difference these women have made in my life. They have helped shape me into who I am. Now, with all due respect, we all have had to chisel through some of the layers of dysfunction that scarred us during those young years. There are things better left in the 90's. But had it not been for those times, who would I be now? where would I be? how would I be me had I never had my friends?

Reading this, you would think I see these women often. This is the extraordinary gift of Continual friends, this friendship is kept safe in you hear where the memories of young women are continually tended to by love. Sure, when we get together it spills out into the room with thundering force, but on a daily basis it is kept safe, treasured until we can be together again. I could call any one of these women right now and have a houseful of caring friends surrounding me.. but I don't talk to them daily, some not even monthly.. but that does not mean that I don't think of them Continually.

I know life will continue to change things. I know time will march on take us here and there.. but right now I want to thank these women.. for who they were to me, who they are to me and who they have helped me to become.

 Now, unlike the things that need to be left in the 90's... WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN UP MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH!

      THANK YOU :)


  1. love Marky Mark! Words escape me, as I think about Awesome insights and so forth...hopefully you know what you invoke in others, if not, it is my hope that you will learn how your words impact others..
    write on!

  2. Thank you Cindi!I don't know if I actually realize the impact but I know that I try to write from my heart and I think that touches on emotions others understand. I will keep writing because it is such a big part of who I am now.. Thank you for your support and kind words :)