check book day

Ok, here it is.. the day that I absolutely dread.. I am balancing my check book.
Now in theory, this should be as easy as tying my shoe or brushing my teeth but reality has clearly shown me that this isn't the case for me. I usually put this task off until I am wide awake in my bed in the midst of a cold sweat/hot flash/anxiety attack... probably hormone induced..but when your in the middle of it does it really matter what the cause is? The fact is I panic and just like a perfectly rehearsed play, the next scene is always a case of buyers remorse..
"Oh my gosh, did I really need those 1.99 flip flops from Walmart? No! I am a terrible person, I am a terrible mother, I should have never snuck off to McDonalds and bought that sweet tea and ice cream! I don't deserve that cup of frozen happiness when I don't even know if I can afford to send my children to college! I should be ashamed of myself. What time is it? Is it too late to call Pastor and ask him to pray for me? Oh well, I will just wait until Sunday and repent." Yes, I have had that conversation with myself.
But then the hormones shift from.. swing ...low.. sweet... estrogen... to the Rocky theme song!! "NO!" I lay in bed proclaiming to my pillow: "I will no longer be held a prisoner of  these chains from the financial world!  I am Micki Fredricks, Matriarch of this family, I Will and Shall, with all the power that has been bestowed to me.. or for me.. or with me.. whatever it is.... I will balance my check book as soon as I am off work tomorrow!!
Soooo, anywho.. when I got home today, and after I checked my facebook, threw in some laundry, text everyone I could possibly text, checked my facebook, read a couple chapters while in the privacy of my bathroom, checked my facebook, had some slight disagreements with my children, watched my husband make dinner and shooed all of said children and said husband outside.. was now ready to take on the checkbook!
No I was not avoiding, why do you ask?
Pencil.. CHECK, checkbook...CHECK, calculator...CHECK, sea of half used, numbers out of order, missing books, missing duplicate checks that have NOT been written down in the memo thingy that is supposed to help keep track...CHECK! Really! who is supposed to be in charge of this??
I was staring at the floor,with my forehead resting on the table and arms stretched out across the pile of useless paperwork when I heard the chair across from me slide out and a pair of cute little flip flopped feet sat down. It was my young daughter Addie. I didn't raise my head to look at her but I did take a deep breath because I knew the sound of her sweet little voice would somehow comfort me.
"Mom."
"Yes Addie?"
"What are you doing?"
"Balancing the checkbook."
"You're losing it again aren't you Mom."
"Yes, Addie."
"Just checking." And she jumped off the chair and ran outside. Nice!
After that encouraging talk with my youngest daughter, I somehow managed to lift my head and try again. And I prevailed! After an hour or more of searching for check books, broken pencils leads and an obviously malfunctioning calculator (it never did give me the same number twice) I HAD VICTORY!  I found my pink lip gloss!!!!See the positive things that can happen if you don't let the dark side win and you keep trying and trying! I have been looking for that lip gloss for weeks!
I will balance my checkbook as SOON... as I get home from work tomorrow.